Sounds like a bad Marlon Brando movie, doesn’t it ? Hi, Clam’s here with some terrific news. Bicycle races are coming to Paso Robles and they expect the population of our little town to almost double ! There are roughly 30,000 people in our sleepy little town (but it has some awesome shops, come by and see it if you can, we also have a, surprise, wine festival every year too, doesn’t draw 30,000 people, but it has it’s moments). So today the town is 60,000 strong, give or take a few thousand. And I couldn’t possibly be more excited.

If only I could ride a two-wheeler, Lance Amrstrong and I would be right out front, battling it out for first place...

The above picture was last year in Los Angeles County. Our hills are a little tougher.  This is so exciting. Not only is it a contest between finely tuned and trained athletes, but it is GREEN ! No pollution, not from the bicycles, anyway. What better way to celebrate such a wonderful day than to leave as small a footprint as possible ?

Now, here in Paso Robles, we have a lot of terrific things planned for everybody. that’s the fun of the races, it isn’t just sitting on your keyster and watching a few bikes fly by at a high rate of speed. Well, our local paper has the events all mapped out. There are youth art contests, Lifestyle parties, wow, it is going to take a lot of energy to make it through this day.

Now, on a sad note, while Lance (he is my favorite) was on the Sacramento leg of the Tour of California race, someone “borrowed” his bicycle, for lack of a better word. The good news is someone decided that Lance needed it pretty bad to race with so they took it to the Sacramento Police Department (Nice folks, by the way, if your ever in Sacramento and happen to meet a member of the SPD, be sure and say “Hello, and thank you” they really work hard to keep that a nice town). So the good news is, everyone has a bike, the race is already underway and it promises to be a great day.

Tonight, I sleep, but for now, I have my visor on, my souvenir yellow jersey and am loaded up on plenty of water and food so..

Lets RACE !

Clams.

P.S. If you wish to take a quick look at videos, pictures, standings, course, routes etc, tyou can go to http://tracker.amgentourofcalifornia.com/ Make sure Flash is enabled on your browser.

A lot of stock is placed in dreams by some people. Some feel that they are windows into the future, others feel they are windows into the psyche. And yet some dismiss them as the workings of an over active imagination. I feel they need a lot more study.

Doing research.

So here I am, doing research into dreams. I tried asking others, but couldn’t get two opinions that even seemed alike, out of 100 people, if you ask them about dreams, you will get 150 different answers. THAT was a dead end. So I went on the internet, Okay, and I thought asking around was a bad idea.

I found this place that was an eye opener,  Who would have thought that dream could mean that ? In retrospect, yes, it makes a little sense, but wow, seriously. Glad that wasn’t any of my dreams. It is interesting, however, the way some folks interpret dreams.

For instance, there was a gentleman named Alfred Adler and another named Fredrick Perls and let’s not forget about Carl Jung (I have a lot of time to read) But the strangest one of all was Sigmund Freud. Wow, that guy needed a shrink.

Well, after all that reading, all that Googling I realized the best way to interpret and research dreams was to sleep. Or, as Bill Shakespeare said (In Hamlet) “To sleep: perchance to dream” he was not talking about taking a nap, but you get the idea, right ?

So, until my research is done, shhhhhh

weener at work

Clams

Okay, I admit it, that was a “grabber” this has nothing to do with rising or lowering CO2 levels, nothing to do with the polar ice caps or even the changing of warm water currents in the pacific. No, this is the type of global warming we all need to participate in, even if for a little bit.

Sure, it's pretty, pretty doggone cold, brrrrr.....

One of my many duties around Weener’s Leap Winery is greeting guests. These people are usually in a very good mood because they are out for the day, visiting a winery and being greeted by a small weener dog. It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it. It also makes it easier to wag a tail or sniff a pants cuff when the recipient is already in a jovial mood. And, of course, it never fails, after several tastings of our delicious hand crafted wines, people just seem to be so much friendlier, never fails. Perhaps it’s the location, Paso Robles is probably one of California’s best kept secrets (a wonderful little town over populated with warm people and great little cafes - you gotta visit once in your life. Forget Rome, see Paso Robles and live !). Maybe it’s the wine. Personally, I think it is the greeter (c’est moi - I borrowed that line from Camelot, terrific musical).

Now I don’t spend all my time at the winery, though, it’s the best place a small weener could hope to hang out. Besides, I need to get away occasionally to recharge my batteries, experience a little something new. And get down to Pismo Beach.

Going to the beach is a California tradition. Even if you recently saw a movie about giant ravenous sharks, taking in the view, the sunshine and the sound and smell of the surf, you get over your jitters pretty quick. And at the beach, I meet people who can really use a wag of the tail or a quick sniff. You see them all the time, jittery, worn out, sad looking, and if your a guy like me, you can’t help but think “Let’s go spread a little sunshine”. That’s right, give em a little warmth. Run up to them, wag your tail and give em a little sniff, if they respond by lowering their hand, let loose with a happy lick or two !

Viola, instant warmth, and no matter where you are, you can do this too, although I understand you two-legged types have a little different system of greeting, apparently sniffing one another is not kosher if the two of you are starngers, but you can smile (do you have any idea what a smile means in dog language ? Never mind, differences) and say hello to them. Now you just warmed up someone else’s day ! If everybody today stops to say hello to a stranger, compliment a stranger on something or just smile as you bustle past, the world will be a much warmer, and happier place.

Global warming, it’s a beautiful thing.

Woof, Clams

Rainy days are wet, cold and miserable. IF you are outside in them which leads to the question why one would be out in the rain ? Yes, there are sometimes you just can’t avoid it but really, given the choice, why get wet ?

Yes, this game should be played outdoors, how many times has mom said "Don't throw the ball in the house"

This Monday is Presidents day. Lately we have heard a lot about the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. The reason there has been so much to do about it is that this is his 200th birthday. Wow, that’s a lot of wrinkles. And there were a lot of rumors about him that just weren’t true. Not, at least, according to people who are considered Lincoln historians.

His Father left him after his mother died. Nope, says Rick Shenkman (Presidential Historian) His mother died when he was 9 yrs old. But his father did not leave him alone out in the woods. His father remarried and apparently Lincoln and his stepmother got along just fine.

Lincoln liked hard work. Again, says Rick, not true. He would do it because it needed doing, but he preferred to read. His father could not read and Lincoln often made fun of his father for not being able to read (kids can be so cruel).

No matter what stories you hear about the man, he seems so much bigger than life. It could be because he faced some tough decisions as a result of becoming the president when he did. The country was at the brink of a civil war, he did not want to see the country go to war. He opposed war. He even signed a bill that would allow states that had slavery to keep it.  It was a compromise to the constitution. But, even though he did sign it, several months later, the first shots of the American Civil war were fired at Fort Sumter. Try as he might, he got caught up in one of the greatest events of his, or any, century in American history, maybe it was the events that made the man, or the way he handled it, but, he took a real bad situation and four years later welded a nation back together.

Takes a great man, took a lot of people believing in him and letting him do his job. Come to think of it, a lot of our presidents have been in tough situations, and when they have the people of America behind them, they really do well. I detect a pattern here.

Oh look, it stopped raining. Seagulls are landing all over the lawn, time to make a little Gettysburg address of my own

Excuse me, gotta go to work

Clams

It isn’t a regular habit of mine, but someone left the NY Times laying around (It was an old issue, from August 2006) and, since it was a little chilly and wet outside, I needed something to read. As I read I came across this picture and after reading it I found out Picasso had a weener dog, just like me !

Picasso's weener dog, Lump, at the bottom of the picture was his muse !

Making a fine wine is like painting a masterpiece, I suppose. You don’t just add the right flavors, pitch the yeast and toss it in a bottle, no, you have to have people who can taste the subtleties of the grape then guess what that will translate into after three years in a bottle. And what grapes you need to add to it to make it turn into a bottle of fine wine rather than an expensive bottle of vinegar. Much like Picasso, there was no formula for making great art, he would consult his weener dog, Lump, and after that, he would paint great art works like the one above ! Kind of like what the guys do at Weener’s Leap Winery. I don’t want to brag, but ask anyone. I am an important member of the staff here at the winery. Yes, I work with terrific and dedicated people, but everyone needs inspiration.

I wonder what Picasso would have thought of our Angry Dacshund or even our Chick Magnet wines ? Being as he was an artist, I’m sure he would have approved. I mean, he DID have the good taste to have a weener dog as his muse, didn’t he ? That’s just how you roll when your belly is this close to the ground !

Anyone else out there have some great weener stories ? If so, feel free to share them. Weeners are such humble dogs that we almost never brag about our own accomplishments.

almost

Woof, Clams

Oh snap ! That movie came out today. Yeah, I know it’s just a movie, but it is the type of movie that is best watched from under a blanket. I get nervous when I hear a dish fall on the floor, I have to say this movie is not my cup of tea.

Maybe Jason won't find me behind this mask... Jim Carey, possibly but not Jason

Now I don’t want to say anything bad about the movie. As horror movies go it is probably a good movie. It has been running in one form or another since before I was born so they must be doing something right but I DON’T WISH TO BE SCARED ! Mainly because it has a negative effect on small weener dogs.

We piddle.

There, I said it, the horrible truth is out. Yes, small weener dogs enjoy an adrenaline rush as much as the next guy. Heck, if we had opposable thumbs we would be base jumping from cars and step stools (I said we were adrenaline junkies, not complete morons, cliffs ? 260 ft bridges ? Thats STUPID !) Maybe even surfing the internet without anti-virus software. how’s that for fearless ? yeah, you bet. Just goes to show you how crazy my life can get.

Back to Jason Voorhies.

Wait, no, how about we discuss something a little less terrifying ? Something cerebral without delving into the “braniac” level ? Okay, here it is, I got it.

Have you heard of Il Divo ? No ? Wow, you must be living under a rock or something. Only kidding, you may or may not have heard of them. Four guys, one from America, one from France, One from Switzerland and one from Spain ! Diverse and talented, these four young men are kind of like Josh Groban times four, without the nasal quality (I have ears, someone had to say it). Look them up on the internet, because today may be Friday the 13th, but tomorrow is 14 February, Valentine’s Day. Romance being the idea.

I’ll make it simple for you guys who are scrambling right now thinking about buying the biggest box of chocolate you ever saw. Don’t ! Instead try this little gem (I saw someone do this once, worked like a charm) Figure out what you can cook really well, cook it and have it ready for when she comes over. Put on Il Divo (I might recommend the song Solo Otra Vez - All By Myself or perhaps their version of Senza Catene aka Unchained Melody, remember the movie Ghost, go for the emotional heart strings, works every time) and crack open a bottle of Chick Magnet Cabernet Sauvignon (2006, just a suggestion) you will find it is made by Weeners Leap Winery in Paso Robles. And you won’t wind up piddling on the floor, either

Cheers

Clams

Good day again ! Clam’s here enjoying your company. I really want to thank you for coming by to read my blog, I put a lot into it and it means so much to me that you would take a part of your busy day just to read the thoughts of a small weener, really, you rock.

Let’s face it, I own and run a winery. That alone does not make me the perfect connoisseur of wine. I don’t think anyone IS the perfect connoisseur, but a lot of folks are able to select a heck of a great wine and if they tell you to try it, they just might know what they are talking about.

So how does someone become an excellent wine judge, what exactly in a person (or a small weener dog) makes them capable of determining the quality of a wine ? That’s a question a lot of folks ask when they tour wineries or deal with wine connoisseurs (the italics are there for a reason, this is gonna blow you away when you finally find the answer) “How do I tell a good wine from a bad wine ?

Simple scenario: Claude Van Dooserhorn the III is entertaining his snobby friends with a bottle of wine rated by a wine guide at 98 (out of a possible 100) the bottle of wine cost over 75 $ US and had a list two blocks long to buy it at auction. Everybody ooohs and ahhhs over the bottle as it is opened, revels at the story about how a friend of a friend of a Secretary to an overseas diplomat who was disgraced in front of the Pasha of some unpronounceable country found the wine in a hidden box in a deep sea dive on a shipwreck in the Bahamas. And they wait eagerly, expecting the nectar of the Gods as a tiny bit of the wine is poured into their glasses. They raise the glass, swirl it around, stick their nose in the glass, sniff deeply (only 5 million receptors and they think they can smell anything ! Ha ! Try having 220 million, not bragging, its just a small fact of being a small weener dog, we smell better, so to speak) try and impress everyone else with what they smell in the wine “A hint of burning rubber, followed by carbon tetrachloride and finished with a overpowering stench of south end of a north bound skunk” (just put the picture in your mind and you don’t even need first year anatomy to figure out what part of the skunk they are talking about) .

Then comes the scary part. After smelling such things, no one wants to point out that maybe that 75$ would have been better spent on Beer advertised by Clydesdale horses (wonderful animals, BTW, but they could use a vacation every now and then). They raise the glass to their lips (when the glass should be presented to the dishwater in the sink by now) and drink !

The funny part is when they try and keep a straight face while claiming what a treat it is they just had. If it is a treat to pour chemical, biological and radiological waste down your gullet, then, what a treat indeed.

That’s the wrong way to judge wine. If you would like the secret to being a good wine judge I will share with you what Laurie shared with me. Laurie originally came from Germany, she served with the California Army National Guard (Thank you, Laurie, not everyone is willing to give so much of themselves to their home) and she served with the California State Fair as a wine judge. She is no snob, a very funny and elegant lady with a wicked sense of humor. She told me the secret.

The best wine is the one you enjoy. Pour a small glass, try it, do you like the way it tastes, smells and leaves your mouth feeling ? Then that is the best wine. And should you decide that any of the wine’s at Weenersleap are to your taste, so much the better.

I, myself,prefer Weenersleap wines. But that’s just me.

bon appetit

Clams

As a dog I hear the question asked often of Mike “Does your dog love kids” ?  Let me add my answer to that. It isn’t that dogs don’t like kids, heck, dogs and kids are almost the same creature at various ages of each. Oh, that handsome looking fella in the picture is me and the other guy helps out around the place from time to time.

Clams and Mike - Like Martin and Lewis, only better looking.

Kids are wonderful little things. They are warm, soft, they mostly like to snuggle, are almost always up for a lick  across the mug and enjoy the bliss of being covered in loose fur. But, they have some drawbacks as well.

Kids move fast. For most dogs this isn’t a problem, unless we are raised predominantly around adults. Adults do things slowly and deliberately. When an adult moves quickly, it means everyone should be on alert, something is not right. Adults do not run for no good reason, nor do they shout for no good reason, adults are kids that lost the ability to be noisy and quick as a habit, adults are only that way out of necessity, usually an emergency (someone spilled red wine on the white carpet - I don’t see the problem there myself, but apparently adults do). So when someone moves fast around an “adults” dog, the reaction from the dog isn’t “Oh joy, time to play” it really is more like “Oh my gosh, whats burning this time and when will they learn that is a smoke alarm, not a kitchen timer”.

Being around adults is like being in a winery (say, for instance, Weenersleap, everything is deliberate, slow, purposeful and measured. There are few, if any, accidents. When there are, excitement, and not in a good way, ensues.

Being around kids is like being in a fast food joint during lunch rush. Noisy, confused, smelly (good and bad, I don’t mind the occasional cheeseburger myself) and totally chaotic in a really fun way.

So the answer to the question isn’t if a dog likes kids, it’s how a dog likes kids…

With or without BBQ sauce.

Your kid-loving four-footed friend

Clams

Did you know there are psychologists that specialize in canine psychology ? I admit there are days I run myself ragged looking out for all Mike’s (Mike, he is the guy who helps me run this winery) interests as well as my own, but he only has two legs and no bark whatsoever, so someone has to watch over him. There are days I get a little overwhelmed.

But a Psychiatrist ? What could be a better Psychiatrist than a sunlit patch of sand with wildflowers growing around it ? Or the afternoon easterly breeze from off the ocean on a warm day ? Or, and this is really hard to imagine that this wouldn’t work, the soft crackle of a fireplace on a stormy blustery day while one is safely ensconced behind thick sheet glass and stretched out on a warm rug ?

Psychiatry for dogs ? Preposterous ! Give us a scant teaspoon of bacon grease on our kibble (just a tiny bit, too much grease can lead to pancreatitis, very painful mind you) keep us out of the chocolate (we can beg, but it is never good for us to have chocolate, we can, however, enjoy a tiny piece of carob without worry) scratch behind the ears and try not to shout (our ears, as well as our noses, are very finely tuned instruments) and we can brave anything.

And should you see us snoozing, do not think we have escaped into the realm of Orpheus to withdraw from the grind of day to day, no, we simply are catching up, preparing ourselves for whatever may come. And if whatever may come is a tidbit falling from the table, be assured, we are always ready for that.

Trust the Woof

Clams